Long, but good!

Bahh -- where to begin?!  Well.. Cuatro de Mayo was great.  Yes, that's correct, CUATRO de Mayo -- JULIANNA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!  She is SO stinkin' cute!  She wasn't really sure about the cake, and when she touched the icing, she got grossed out haha but she knew exactly what to do with the presents!  And her best friend, Addy, was right there to help her celebrate and play with her new toys!  HAHA they are way too precious -- I can't even take it hahah.  Mothers' Day (today) was also really great!  Nicole was soooo generous in making us all a huuuuge dinner!  (Thanks Nicole!)  And little Juj was quite the entertainment in talking, smiling, and being so cute!  Ah, I still can't believe she's real -- and we get to love her!  On Jujy's down times, aka botty drinking moments, the dogs were more than enough to pay attention to -- Cody: the wild westie!  ready to jump on everything, and kill any squirrel that dare cross his path, Pip- the tiny but mighty! definitely the hyperactive out of them all (even Cody!, now THAT says something!), and Sprocket: the calm, snuggly, old fellow who thinks Cody and Pip are crazy seperately, let alone together!  Haha it was really fun having the whole fam together. 

Health wise-- I'm not breathing well, and starting yesterday I've had a pain in the side of my chest.. not sure if I pulled a muscle or broke a bone -- but hopefully I'll find out tomorrow with an x-ray.  The enemy has REALLYYYY been eating at me.  The deceiver loves to... well.. deceive.  And that's exactly what he's been doing.  I am so tired, especially in the mornings -- even if I got more than enough sleep, and it's really hard to wake up to know that as soon as my eyes open, the coughing begins.  I am SO thankful for my sound mind --- and I keep praying God maintains that!  My body however, doesn't agree with my mind most of the time.  I want to go out and do things, or exercise to try and feel better.. and my body is kinda just like -- haha yeaaa right, we are going to lay here instead.  So that's a little frustrating.  And nights are the worst for me.  I end up staying up too late, who knows why, and it's just like leaving the door open for Satan to come and be my "comforter".  These past nights (and some days)  I have been feeling awful..  This is not where I saw myself at 21 years of age.  I definitely didn't imagine that my health could even get this bad.  And then I start snowballing -- well if it's this bad now, how am I going to be in a few years?  Am I even going to make it to a few years?  I've always wanted to get married -- that's not in the picture now.  etc, etc, etc... Bla.  During one of these depressive moments, I decided to read some letters from a book that I HIGHLY reccommend.  "His Princess Warrior" by Sheri Rose Shepherd.  Has anyone ever seen the "everything skit"?  Where the person is just getting so hit by the things of the world, and then Jesus steps in and is the barrier between her and the things trying to tear her down?  And then Jesus stands up and all the sins fall -- Jesus breaks their bondage?  It's awesome --if  you haven't seen it, even if you have, look it up on youtube - it's called the everything skit.   Anyway, I know it'll still be a struggle, but that's what I feel like Jesus started to do for me.  He reminded me that it really isn't about me, and not like oh you shouldn't be thinking of yourself -- but reminded me that HE has bigger plans, and even though my little plans seem so great to me, HE alone is the lover of my soul, and He does love me.  He just.. comforts me.. I can't explain.  But here's the letters I read.

"My Princess Warrior
Faith is the only thing that will hold you together when the world around you seems to be falling apart.  I want you to learn to live your life fueled by faith; there is nothing too big for me to handle for you, My beloved.  I am your God who will move a mountain if it stands in the way of My will for you.  My power will be seen in your circumstance when you begin to believe I am who I say I am, and I will do as I promise.  You are Mine, and I hold in My hand all you will ever need.  I love you, but I cannot force you to live by faith - it is your choice.  Only you can make the decision to believe and experience the mighty works I want you to see.
Love,
Your King who has faith in you"

Bible References: 
"He replied, 'Because you have so little faith, I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.'" Matthew 17:20-21

"What is faith?  It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen.  It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." Hebrews 11:1

"My Princess
You are not called to follow others, My beloved Warrior.  I have appointed you to lead them to Me.  Life will become a great adventure if you will step out to the front line and fight for those who are too weak to fight for themselves.  Don't look back on what you have lost; look forward to the great victories that are in front of you.  You don't have to hide behind your fears and insecurities any longer.  I can and will turn your pain into passion to change the world around you.  As you find your way to the front line, hide this truth in your heart: 'This fight is not just for you, it is for all those you dearly love.'
Love,
Your King who fights with you"

Bible References:
 "He will say to them, ' Listen to me, all you men of Israel!  Do not be afraid as you go out to fight your enemies today!  Do not lose heart or panice or tremble before them!" Deuteronomy 20:3

"Together they will be like mighty warriors in battle trampling their enemy into the mud of the streets.  They will fight because the LORD is with them, and they will put the enemy horsemen to shame." Zechariah 10:5 (TNIV)

Last but certainly not least.. The Lord used..

"My Princess
You are never alone on the battlefield, My beloved Warrior.  I would never expect you to handle this life alone.  That is why I sent My Holy Spirit to comfort you during combat.  When you are overwhelmed by the spiritual warfare around you, I want you to call My name and I will come to your rescure.  I will destroy the works of the enemy and carry you to a place of restoration.  I hear your heart's cry from heaven.  Not a single tear that has fallen down your cheek will be wasted.  Your heart poured out to Me will cleanse your soul and joy will be yours once again!
Love,
Your King who wipes away your tears"

Bible Refences:
"But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help.  He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears." Psalm 18:6

"He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:21

Bah.. My sweet Jesus.  That's who loves me, that's who comforts me, that's who saves me. Speechless.

I am speechless.. because God is love.