So I started this blog with all the details of this hospital trip.. but I decided to save that for a later entry because 1) there are going to be more details haha, 2) i'm getting tired and i'm hoping that I might actually be able to fall asleep! and 3) i'd rather focus on how loving and nice Jesus is always - even in this.
Just naming a few things --
I had to get 4 ABGs done -- ABGs are bloodwork from the arteries which mean they are further down than regular veins... and it has potential to hurt...a lot. Mine have never ever hurt because I've always gotten them done in the pulmonary function lab of the hospital, and they numb you up really well! Unfortunately, this time I didn't go to the lab and they ordered people to come to my room... After attempts from 3 different people, it was unsuccessful and a little sore, but not terribly. God was nice, of course, and while they were trying to get the blood, He put a song in my heart, and I sang it. Its pretty crazy that God would use what is supposed to be HIS worship, to distract me from my pain, but that's just like Him.. His love is crazy good.
They wanted to send a fourth person that night, but we declined, and instead went down to the PFT lab the next day.. where it's no surprise that Gary (the greatest ever!) made me feel completely calm, confident about the ABG, and numbed my arm so well that I didn't even know the needle was in there! You know those people who just put you at ease when you see their face? They don't even have to say anything and you just feel safe and calm? That's Gary. And I can't tell you enough how I thank God for creating him and putting him in life exactly when I need him.
Unfortunately, later that night while my mom, dad, and I were playing boggle (we never got to get to the scoring part... but if we had I would have kicked their butts..not to toot my own horn or anything..) I started coughing up blood. Like pure blood without much effort. Some of you have seen me cough, and my face turns red, and I cough and cough like a cat with a hairball. That's not how I was coughing. I merely cleared my throat kind of cough, and bam! Anyway, because it was pure blood, and a significant amount, my doctor was called immediately. I also had a CT scan that day. Turns out it showed an area in my left lung that's bleeding. Bla bla bla, here I am in ICU. The doc says I'm not really sick sick that I need to be in ICU but the unit right under it, like for patients too sick for the floor but not enough for ICU, I couldn't go to because of my CF. So that's good too! Not to mention, when I went for the CT scan, they had to put in another IV to be able to inject contrast into me for the scan. They didn't take the IV out just incase we needed it for later on... and sure enough -- they're using BOTH IVs in ICU because one of my meds takes 4 hours to run and we wouldn't be able to run all the meds on one IV. God's provision shines through again!
Anyway, thanks for reading my updates for whoever made it this far -- although this is nothing compared to how long I usually write hahah. As for now .. I'm going to snack on the butterfinger (yuuuuuum!) my sis and bro in law brought me and bugles.
OH!! last thing..duh... I feel like this stay I've gotten a lot more..weak. not physically (well yes physically, but that's not what I mean), more like mentally. I want to be a warrior but I feel like im complaining a lot more, and not seeking God as I used to. I miss my puppies a lot... and just want to go home to my own things... and blaaa I could go on and on and on. Anyway, I was praying and crying, asking God to just please hold my hand. I know he is even without me asking.. but still. The next morning I read a small devotional from Jesus Calling... The devo is like a little note written from God based on the Bible.. I love it.. anyway.. what did it say? -- Focus on me so that you won't miss me holding onto your hand so tightly -- Jesus <3
Jesus holds my hand (even when i'm complaining) because God is love.
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