wait...

Helloooo! These past few days I've been improving!  I am sitting up more, sleeping less during the day, and walking around a little more and more steadily!  I have more energy, too.  All good things!  (Reminder: I could still use your prayers! I'm improved meaning from the state I was in prior.. I am still in need of a double lung transplant, and very weak.  I don't want to be a downer .. but some people don't understand the magnitude of the disease that when I say I'm doing better.. it doesn't mean I am healed.. I'm happy to be doing better than I was but I still need a double lung transplant -- so i'm obv not in tip top shape over here haha)

Ok so now that awkwardness is over, haha I wanted to tell you how God is encouraging me.  He's so nice! So.. my bestie, June, had made me a welcome home poster but unfortunately didn't get to bring it to my house for when I got home. She took a pic of it and sent it to me.  I loved it but she was a lil bummed that she had planned on giving it to me that day and wasn't able to.  Fast forward about a week later.  June went to our church for service on Sunday as usual, but she brought the poster, and a bunch of my church family wrote encouraging and loving notes to me on it.  How uplifting! Thanks guys!! After service, June came over and was thrilled to finally give me the poster she had made which was now enhanced with all the love from our church fam as well.  And God, in his quiet and yet reassuring way, brought encouragement from it.

June wanted to give me the poster last week and was upset when that didn't work out.  But now that she had waited the week, our church fam got to sign it and be part of it.  Had June rushed, and given it to me, I never would have gotten the blessing of all those loving messages on the posters.  She waited, and got to give me so much more than she had even thought of before.

I want transplant now. I wanted it yesterday lol and God just used this situation to remind me that in HIS perfect timing not only will I get what I was expecting, but he will give so much more on top of that.  I can only imagine so much about my new lungs and life afterwards, and it's hard to wait because all of that seems so great for right now!  But God has a plan that goes beyond what I mustered up thinking about, and to bring about that abundance, waiting is necessary.  But how nice of Him to reassure me, and remind me.  Like my own little personal parable haha but it's not just for me -- if you're going through a waiting period, remember to keep walking in relationship with the Lord, and remember that the waiting is just the extra fruits ripening; the extra flowers blooming; the abundance that you couldn't even think of but the Lord wants to bestow upon you. bahh it's exciting to think about the surprises he has for us!

In the waiting times.. it can be hard to draw closer to God because we don't understand why he's withholding from us what we think is the best for us. But that's when it's especially important to draw even closer to God.. Cuddle in close, and remember what he's promised.

Psalm 84:11 (NASB)
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The Lord gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.


He doesn't withhold anything good from those who call him King and live like it.  He doesn't withhold anything good from his children.  He promises <3

So even though I'd rather have my way in my time.. I know what he has in store will be worth the wait.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6X71sXagUY -- thought of this song - check it out

I am hopeful in waiting because God is love.

relief

I'M HOME!!!!!!!!!! seriously can't tell you how good it feels and what a world's difference it makes just to be in your own house.  I cant do stairs, and am pretty unbalanced on my feet still, so I've just been hanging out on the middle level of our house, sleeping on the couch.  Pip wasn't thrilled to see me.. well he was for 2.5 seconds but then he was really afraid of my o2 mask, so he wouldn't really come near me.  We've made some progress and he'll lay next to me now, but he mainly follows my mom and dad around. Thanks a lot pip :[ lol just kidding - I still love him even though he doesn't love me :[  Sprocket, on the other hand, was so thrilled to see me regardless of the mask, that his tail wagged so hard it shimmied up through the rest of his body.  He was/is sooo snuggy that he contorts his body into any position to be completely pressed into me.  Sometimes, when we're not snugging, he just rests his head on the foot of my chair and wags his tail at me lol so cute. 

This is definitely a struggle -- and that's sugar coating it.  The mornings tend to be particularly hard -- especially the ones right after a really good day.  For example, yesterday I did more than I have!  I sat up at the table for breakfast for the first time, June and Patti visited (thanks guys!) and I even rode the exer-bike a few minutes.  I knew I'd feel it today, but didn't realize how much.  This morning was very hard to breathe, especially when I would cough -- it took me so long to recover from a little cough.  My o2 started dropping and my body and lungs just hurt. I ended up taking a Percocet, which brings me to todays theme lol -- relief.  I'm so thankful for all the ways my CF is relieved throughout the day.  I feel tight?  I do a treatment to relieve the tightness. Legs stiff?  Take a little walk or do the bike to relieve them.  Anxiety? Pain?  Take a Percocet and feel the relief.  In those moments when it's really bad, I feel as if it'll last forever.  Then what? And I know this is weird.. but I just keep thinking there's no relief in hell.  There's literally no thirst that is quenched to any degree.  But with Jesus, relief abounds.  Not only am I SOO thankful for the relief I'm experiencing now; that those times of extra hard breathing, extra pain, and then worry are relieved right now, but they will be forever relieved when I'm called home, or Jesus returns - whichever happens first lol.  There's a song that says "He will lead me to springs of living water" and that's all I can picture today - how relieving the Living Water is.  It's calm, and peaceful, flowing so gently.  It's clear - theres no muck, or confusion -- just crystal clear. It's refreshing and cool.  Just picture the beautiful spring running along... it's just so relieving.  So today, among alllllll the things God is so abundantly blessing me with (I'll have to write a blog about that too and make sure to thank everyone for being those blessings -- someone please remind me to do that!) I am thankful for relief.

This fighter gets relief because God is love.