Thursday, April 23, 2015

Who Am I? Only God Knows...

Hey Everyone!

So tonight's blog was prompted by listening to a Laura Story song.  Honestly, I feel like I could write a whole devotional based off of her songs and the way they connect with my life and I have a funny feeling I'm not the only one who feels that way.  If you haven't heard of Laura Story or you just haven't gotten around to listening to her music yet, I would definitely recommend listening to her songs!

So the concept of this blog is actually pretty short and sweet.  Let God be your God. The actual blog, of course, will not be short... but hopefully sweet! :]

CF always enjoyed reminding us of its threat and of the tolls it took on me.  One of those tolls being that once I got really sick, my choices were already chosen for me. I didn't decide what I wanted to do on any given day, my exhaustion did. My lungs dictated if I would laugh regardless if I thought something was hilarious. And my chest and ribs stubbornly kept me awake all night despite how tired the rest of me was.  After getting transplanted, this was entirely different. Every possible desire and opportunity came flying at me. It was like I suddenly found myself in Distractions R' US and I couldn't leave until I had browsed through everything. Even when distractions were calm, though, I found myself struggling in a battle --- against myself.  I didn't know how to be someone. I had to relearn how to be social and hold conversations.  I had to decide what my interests and hobbies were going to be. It felt like I basically had to think up a new me but at the same time I wanted to be who everyone else wanted me to be, too. In movies, when someone reinvents themselves, it comes so easily.  They try new things and like them.  They dive into uncomfortable social settings and find that secretly their social butterfly was just yearning to be released. They whimsically decide on a career and pursue it with great motivation and little hindrances, all the while trying new scrumptious looking food.  Folks, if you haven't figured this out quite yet --- movies lie. In my upgraded version of myself, I was confused, fragile and stressed about being confused and fragile when clearly this was supposed to be this great movie of me finally taking life by the reigns (and possibly even including a wardrobe montage to 80s music.. but I guess that would depend on which movie I'd be basing my life off of... :P).  I was uncertain of mostly everything and I couldn't have hated it more.  Who was I? Who was I supposed to be? What was I supposed to do?  What classes should I take? Do I want to give that gross foo another try? How should I this or that?  What am I supposed to act like? Or look like? Say? Do?!  There were only 1 thing I was absolutely sure of:

I am God's.

I had tons of questions constantly whirling in my mind, and I only knew one thing...  The cool part is -- that one thing I knew turned out to be the answer to every single question I had.  I am God's. I don't have to try to be this or that - God will mold me and teach me.  I don't have to make career decisions on my own - God will lead me.  I don't have to freak out over what to: say, do, act like, look like, BE like.  These are all examples of burdens that the Lord never intended for us to carry alone.  He did the heavy lifting when he carried the cross to pay for our sins, and because of his sacrifice and victory over death, when we walk with Jesus, we are also blessed by God's promises.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" - Jeremiah 29:11
He knows already! Why am I stressing out trying to do God's job when He's already said that He has made the plans for me? 

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." - Ephesians 2:10
Out of all the beautiful things and creatures God has created -- he calls us his masterpiece! My confidence comes from the Lord.

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:13
Whatever God calls me to do, I don't have to worry if I cant handle it in my own strength, because it will be God's strength that I run off of. 


We aren't supposed to stress, worry and drive ourselves nuts. We are just supposed to let God be God.

"Be still, and know that I am God!  " - Psalm 46:10

I can trust God with my life and my decisions because God is love. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X8D5stUFCU  <<--- the Laura Story song this blog was prompted by -- check it out! <3