Speaking to my heart

Hello! Pretty uneventful week physically for normal people lol but it was pretty busy for me.  Had a docs app on Wed - got my injection!  Thursday I went to get bons with Dani -- LOVE her !  AND after we got cinnabons, I went to the post office, and walgreens!  And I was ok!  I know it sounds silly since those places aren't big trips, but it was a lot for me, and although I was tired after, it was a good tired.  I also made a lot of phone calls that day, too.  I felt soooo accomplished!  I LOVE actually doing stuff!  Friday I was wiped.  I haven't been sleeping great cause my rib, but Friday night was particularly sleepless.  I didn't get to sleep until 6am, and then woke up at 9am for church.  BUT this is the part I love...

You know when you can't sleep, and you get soo frustrated?  Or is that just me? Haha regardless, I was NOT frustrated!  I just layed in my bed and chatted with God... it was so nice.  So peaceful and calm.  LOVE him!

Anyway, church Saturday was really good as usual, however, I might have been a little delirious from sleep deprivation hahah my friend and I were belting out oldies songs after church! haha!  Later that day, Vicky and Juju came over, too.  Love them!  Which reminds me... if you follow me on facebook, I did NOT mean to type Proverbs 28:17 as my status!  Not disregarding it because everything in the Bible is important haha but murderers and their convictions were not on my mind!  HAHA!!  What I meant to type was...

Proverbs 23:18
    "You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed." NLT

What God caught me with about this verse is the second part.. "your hope will not be disappointed".  So many times I feel like surrending to God's will somehow hinders my hopes and dreams.  The devil sneaks that little lie in telling me that giving my all to Jesus means giving up my heart's desires, which Scripture tells me isn't true.  In fact, God says that when we delight in Him, he will give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4).  There are so many things in life, finances or jobs or health issues that try to make me think I need to get up and steer my own boat instead of letting God be in control.  And what does that even mean?  Everyone always says "Oh, just let God take control."  Ok... what does that mean on my part?  Do I sit back and not do anything?  I can't just turn my brain off.. I wish I could give a formula to follow this seemingly easy instruction on giving up control.  I can't, obviously.  But this week God has impressed me, yet again, and so if I had a formula, it'd look like this:

                                 1) Take a breath (hahah :P)
                          2)  Remember that God is GOD!  We can't comprehend that.  He's
                               ALREADY figured out everything, don't worry.
                          3)  Talk with Him, a lot.
                          4) LISTEN!  A conversation is NOT just one way.  It would be awesome
                           to audibly hear God, and it's the greatest when he speaks to your heart,
                              but don't disregard the Bible.  The Bible is part of the conversation. 
                              When you talk, you use words right?  God already prepared his words
                              for you in the Bible.  Open it up and see! (Especially when you don't
                              feel like it! haaha that's a biggy for me)
                           5) Remember.. "your hope will not be disappointed."

I know it sounds so simple.. But God just really touches my heart with that.  Tonight I was at a table with a friend and someone we'd just met.  I didn't have much to contribute to the conversation and didn't really know what they were talking about some of the time because my life revolves around my health now.  As I sat listening, before the devil could even take his shot at me, Jesus reminded me "your hope will not be disappointed".  It's ok that I don't have an interesting life right now.  My future hopes are still standing.  It's ok that I feel tired right now, my hopes are still awaiting me.  It's just so .. nice of God.  He keeps his promises and holds my hopes so dear to him that he promises that they won't be disappointed.  Now, that may mean that they are fulfilled differently than I thought, or that he'll change those hopes.  For example, I have never said "Man, I hope I get a lung transplant!" ... but how many times have I asked God for breath?  How many times I have I prayed "Lord, I just want to breathe."  And here comes the possibility of transplant -- a way for me to breathe -- a hope not disappointed.

My hopes are on my Saviour's mind, because God is love.