Helllooo! I currently am IV free! It's been one week on the IVs, and I only have one more to go so I got to take it out for a few hours today since we have to change the needle. WOO! I can't wait to take a legit hot shower. I can't shower with it in. Wash my hair and take baths I can do. But a legit shower -- ahh can't wait. I also have been back to school! My professor is so nice to me, and although I admit the class is not the most intense, I love that I CAN GO! Yesterday was weird because I got so much accomplished.. I felt good, was breathing good, got my to-do list practically done, even did my hair fancy (I was just in the mood to play around with my hair), and went to egg stuffing for the egg-strav.. and out of all that.. I didn't take time out to read my Bible. I wasn't in the mood to pray.. How awful. How can God give us so much, and we still consistantly turn from him? How can I KNOW that he's such a great God, and still rather watch a movie instead of spend time with him? Ugh. Please pray about that for me. I LOVE being able to feel better and use my body more, but in that, I don't want to forget about my God dates. So.. if you feel like praying, pray for a deeper relationship for Jesus and I, and that I'd be such soft clay in His hands, willing to be molded! Thanks!
My breathing is getting good! It's not wonderful, but it's definitely better than it was earlier this week. I went to class today, and was pretty beat afterwards, but I don't know if that was just from sitting in class, or health. I'm going with just from sitting down for awhile. I don't really have much to write.. except that God is good! :] Read Acts 28:3-5 .. I LOVE how Paul just shakes the snake off his hand and is unharmed. God protects his people :] And then he gives us visuals. I mean, there is SOOO MUCH that happens that we DON'T see where He is working behind the scenes.. but being the doubters we are -- we need proof. I mean his own disciple didn't believe he was raised from the dead -- he wanted to touch and see Jesus' wounds.. and Jesus let him. After ALL Jesus had done for him, and has done for us, He wants us so badly that he lets us SEE the "proof", as if his creation isn't enough, as if us breathing, being alive, feeling the wind, hearts beating, eyes blinking, bodies testifying of his extreme detail in our lives, isn't enough proof. Our autogenic bodies are just working by themselves right? Wrong. In other words, every pump our heart beats, every breath our lungs inhale, the fact that we inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dyoxide, our organs simultaneaously working together is not just coincidence.. in fact, there's too much, that we don't even understand or know about the body for it to just work. Did you just take a breath? The God of the entire universe, who created EVERYTHING from the Grand Canyon to each individual blade of grass, just expanded and contracted your lungs. Are you still reading this? That means you're alive! Yay! And you probably didn't know this but within one minute, your heart typically beats 60-80 times. SIXTY TO EIGHTY TIMES! Now if you live in NJ you're lucky because then you don't pump your own gas, or your heart. But fortunately, unlike the gas pumping thing, it doesn't matter where you live for God to pump your heart. So.. how long did it take you to read this? Multiply it by 70 (we'll go for the middle), and that's how many beats God lovingly, and gently pumped your heart just now. AH I love it! God's hand is always on us.. but we have to accept him. Tonight in the notes of my Bible it talked about how some people are within hearing distance to the Kingdom of God. They hear the gospel, but they choose not to accept. It's not a matter of whether or not you think you need God right now (which if you want to keep that 60-80 beats from going to 0 you do), and it's not a matter of having the "proof" (but if you seek God, you'll find him... he might not show you the "proof" youre looking for right away, but it's there) it's about making a choice to not be a child of God. How do you respond to the gospel? Are you ready to recognize that the breath you just took is from the very same God who gave you your first breath? Are you ready to be like Paul, following Christ where He leads, a child of God, and protected as such?
I'm protected because God is love.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
forgiveness? crazy. Thank goodness God's crazy about us.
Immunity, exoneration, pardon of blame, justification, overlooking, grace, compassion --- those are a few of the words you'll find when you look up forgiveness in a thesaurus. Forgiveness.. this is something I struggle with; not forgiving others, but being forgiven. And not being forgiven by a person that I've wronged, but being forgiven by Jesus Christ. It's said over and over and then over again that God is a forgiving God. And we know that Jesus Christ took on our punishment -- which by the way wasn't just being killed. Many times we dwell on his death, but we forget that He had to be alive to die. Don't take a single drink for few hours, and run around the block. You'll get thirsty. Did it cross your mind that Jesus probably experienced dehydration while hanging on that cross? I know I didn't think about it. And remember those times you got made fun of at school? Or anywhere. Even if you weren't sure your peers were laughing at you, their smirks and occassional glances in your direction made you feel as if you had gone from being on top of the world to now, somehow, worthless. Did you ever think about Jesus? He actually went from being on top of the world, to being considered worthless. They didn't subtley make fun of him, or crack jokes behind his back. Oh no, this was the biggest mock of the world. To his face they made fun of him, riots of people, not just a little highschool clique. And to that same face they were just tormenting, the spit upon. And put a crown of thorns on. I think it hurts lightly touching a rose thorn, let alone have one dug into my head. But he had many dug into his head. He had nails go through his flesh and bone into wood. A sword speared into his side. They even gambled for his clothing to make matters more disrespectful.. And for what? Us. And now, I let that same Jesus down. I fall short. And all I have to do is ask for forgiveness and He takes me back? I can't grasp that. If I wrong someone, not even in the extreme ways I let Jesus down, the person always has it in the back of their mind. Usually it gets brought up in a later fight, or you can just feel the difference in the relationship. But God.. He isn't a grudge holder. And that's why I wanted to write about it because I feel that Satan uses this human trait of reluctant forgiveness against us when we need to be forgiven by Jesus. In other words, when we fall short, Satan makes us think that God has this same reaction -- untrusting, reluctant to forgive, holding a grudge, forgiving but marking it down in His book, type of "forgiveness". This is just such a lie, and yet, I know I still feel intimidated, and badly to go to God and even ask to be forgiven. I know I can't be the only one, and if by some odd chance I am, then let this just be encouragement to every follower of Christ because it's just so awesome. Let's review a few things.
--- Jesus came to die for us. That was the only reason. He led a life so that He could die, and be the sacrifice for our sins, so we didn't have to die, go to hell, and spend eternity without Jesus.
John 3:17 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."
Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
--- Jesus wasn't hunky dory about dying. It's not like He jumped up onto the cross, and felt no pain. Part of taking on our sins, was literally taking on the wrath of God.
Matthew 26:38 "Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” "
Matthew 26:42 "He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” "
Matthew 26:44 "So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing."
THREE TIMES JESUS ASKED God the Father to make another way. He didn't skip to the cross, but he bore it because God's love for us is so strong.
Matthew 27:46 "About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)."
Jesus didn't just die physically.. He took on our sins. God can't be with sin. Jesus was literally seperated from God. God is 3 in 1 -- The Father, Son (Jesus) and Holy Spirit. Jesus seperated himself from.. himself.
So thinking about these things.. It's just ridiculous to think that Jesus would willingly, knowingly endure and go through all that He did just to hold grudges on us later on when He KNOWS that we will fall short. This isn't a surprise. Jesus knows that we have sinful nature. He knows that we can't fight off sin and satan alone in our humaness. A common verse that's said (and true) is Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" but do you know the following verse? Romans 3:24 "and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Justified.. isn't that another word for forgivness? Yes, yes it is. And so is grace. Even though our minds can't grasp it and our attitudes can't do it -- Jesus forgives us in a way like no other! And yes, all that has to be done is asking in sincerity. Jesus bore that cross sooooo long ago for sins I haven't even done yet! But the ransom for them is already paid, all I have to do is ask for it! How crazy!
Some more crazy things...
If you're reading my blog, I hope that by now you realize that "God is love." The Scriptures tell us that in John 4:8 (And God shows us every day). And maybe you've heard the scripture about love -- it's in a lot of weddings, and movies -- like A Walk To Remember -- and it's used as a love between husband and wife -- but it doesn't actually say that in the Scripture. The Scripture is detailing the traits of genuine love -- and as we know GOD IS LOVE -- and love originates from Him -- 1 John 4:19 "We love because he first loved us." Ok, so really the Scripture about love, which by the way is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, is giving us more insight to the personality and compassion of Jesus! It's describing God's qualities. And one of those qualities is.. you guess it.. about forgiveness! And it completely blows my mind.
1 Corinthians 13:5
"It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS! All those hymns about Jesus' blood washing us white as snow are for real. They aren't just trying to make it sound all happy and flowery -- it's true! God doesn't keep record of our wrongs -- He isn't sitting there saying.. "Well.. I forgave you last time but..." Nope! The Bible tells us the story of the lost son -- He was nasty to his father, taking his share of the father's estate before the father had even passed away, and left. While he was gone his heart got changed and decided to return to the same father he had abandoned, asking for forgiveness. This story relates to how we leave Christ for our own ways, and return for forgiveness. Look at how the father (and Jesus) respond. Luke 15:20 "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him" He felt compassion for him, ran to him, embraced him and kissed him. He forgave him. How awesome to think of Jesus being filled with compassion for us even when we sin against him. He can't wait for us to repent and come back to him! Luke 15:22-24 "But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate." Jesus CELEBRATES with us when we come to Him! Bahhh .. incredible.
Ok, so I know this was super long but theres just one more thing I can't get off my mind. Everyone knows Paul for being the Christ follower he was. But it just so astounds me that the same guy, before He knew Jesus, had Christians MURDERED. He would get them arrested and then vote against them for the death penalty. How.. harsh.. and cruel.. and insane! Paul even says he did just that in Acts 26:9-11 "I used to believe that I ought to do everything I could to oppose the very name of Jesus the Nazarene. Indeed, I did just that in Jerusalem. Authorized by the leading priests, I caused many believers there to be sent to prison. And I cast my vote against them when they were condemned to death. Many times I had them punished in the synagogues to get them to curse Jesus. I was so violently opposed to them that I even chased them down in foreign cities." And yet.. God used him, God loved him, God forgave him. God's forgiveness is crazy. Thank God that He's crazy about us.
I'm hoping you haven't murdered anyone. But even if you have, God wants to forgive you. He's just waiting to embrace you, love you, celebrate with you. You just have to ask.
I am forgiven because God is love.
--- Jesus came to die for us. That was the only reason. He led a life so that He could die, and be the sacrifice for our sins, so we didn't have to die, go to hell, and spend eternity without Jesus.
John 3:17 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."
Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
--- Jesus wasn't hunky dory about dying. It's not like He jumped up onto the cross, and felt no pain. Part of taking on our sins, was literally taking on the wrath of God.
Matthew 26:38 "Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” "
Matthew 26:42 "He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” "
Matthew 26:44 "So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing."
THREE TIMES JESUS ASKED God the Father to make another way. He didn't skip to the cross, but he bore it because God's love for us is so strong.
Matthew 27:46 "About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)."
Jesus didn't just die physically.. He took on our sins. God can't be with sin. Jesus was literally seperated from God. God is 3 in 1 -- The Father, Son (Jesus) and Holy Spirit. Jesus seperated himself from.. himself.
So thinking about these things.. It's just ridiculous to think that Jesus would willingly, knowingly endure and go through all that He did just to hold grudges on us later on when He KNOWS that we will fall short. This isn't a surprise. Jesus knows that we have sinful nature. He knows that we can't fight off sin and satan alone in our humaness. A common verse that's said (and true) is Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" but do you know the following verse? Romans 3:24 "and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Justified.. isn't that another word for forgivness? Yes, yes it is. And so is grace. Even though our minds can't grasp it and our attitudes can't do it -- Jesus forgives us in a way like no other! And yes, all that has to be done is asking in sincerity. Jesus bore that cross sooooo long ago for sins I haven't even done yet! But the ransom for them is already paid, all I have to do is ask for it! How crazy!
Some more crazy things...
If you're reading my blog, I hope that by now you realize that "God is love." The Scriptures tell us that in John 4:8 (And God shows us every day). And maybe you've heard the scripture about love -- it's in a lot of weddings, and movies -- like A Walk To Remember -- and it's used as a love between husband and wife -- but it doesn't actually say that in the Scripture. The Scripture is detailing the traits of genuine love -- and as we know GOD IS LOVE -- and love originates from Him -- 1 John 4:19 "We love because he first loved us." Ok, so really the Scripture about love, which by the way is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, is giving us more insight to the personality and compassion of Jesus! It's describing God's qualities. And one of those qualities is.. you guess it.. about forgiveness! And it completely blows my mind.
1 Corinthians 13:5
"It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS! All those hymns about Jesus' blood washing us white as snow are for real. They aren't just trying to make it sound all happy and flowery -- it's true! God doesn't keep record of our wrongs -- He isn't sitting there saying.. "Well.. I forgave you last time but..." Nope! The Bible tells us the story of the lost son -- He was nasty to his father, taking his share of the father's estate before the father had even passed away, and left. While he was gone his heart got changed and decided to return to the same father he had abandoned, asking for forgiveness. This story relates to how we leave Christ for our own ways, and return for forgiveness. Look at how the father (and Jesus) respond. Luke 15:20 "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him" He felt compassion for him, ran to him, embraced him and kissed him. He forgave him. How awesome to think of Jesus being filled with compassion for us even when we sin against him. He can't wait for us to repent and come back to him! Luke 15:22-24 "But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate." Jesus CELEBRATES with us when we come to Him! Bahhh .. incredible.
Ok, so I know this was super long but theres just one more thing I can't get off my mind. Everyone knows Paul for being the Christ follower he was. But it just so astounds me that the same guy, before He knew Jesus, had Christians MURDERED. He would get them arrested and then vote against them for the death penalty. How.. harsh.. and cruel.. and insane! Paul even says he did just that in Acts 26:9-11 "I used to believe that I ought to do everything I could to oppose the very name of Jesus the Nazarene. Indeed, I did just that in Jerusalem. Authorized by the leading priests, I caused many believers there to be sent to prison. And I cast my vote against them when they were condemned to death. Many times I had them punished in the synagogues to get them to curse Jesus. I was so violently opposed to them that I even chased them down in foreign cities." And yet.. God used him, God loved him, God forgave him. God's forgiveness is crazy. Thank God that He's crazy about us.
I'm hoping you haven't murdered anyone. But even if you have, God wants to forgive you. He's just waiting to embrace you, love you, celebrate with you. You just have to ask.
I am forgiven because God is love.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
God's so nice!
So yesterday we went to the doctors, and it turns out the test results said I'm positive for lymes. So we went over to a different doctor who deals with lymes, and he evaluated me and said that the test can come back positive after someone's had lymes, even if they don't have it right now, which he feels is the case for me. He said that the antibiotics I've been on for the CF took care of the lymes as well (2 birds one stone). Now I should have been happy and praising God for this, but I wasn't. As crazy as it sounds, I almost wanted to have lymes just so we could finally figure out the exact problem, and fix it. I was feeling so defeated yesterday. I just didn't want to go with God's plan of me being sick. I didn't want to deal with doctors, IVs, bloodsugars, medicines.. I didn't want to have to be responsible in planning my day so that I get all the therapy in.. I didn't want to cough. I didn't want to be tired. I just didn't want anything to do with it. After the doctors, my mood got even worse. I was praying for God to help me receive his grace, and praying for him to change my heart because if this is the plan he has for me, I know that it's the best, even if it doesn't seem like it -- I can't see the unseen, I can't see the glory he'll receive from it, or how it'll even benefit me, which it will, that's just how Jesus works. So we're on our way home -- my dad is talking about the doctors, which I REALLY didn't want to hear. It was a long day, and I wanted to escape it all. Trying to hold back tears in the car, I just kept praying asking for Jesus to help me. I was being attacked. I KNOW this is for the best. I KNOW my suffering is not without cause. I KNOW that with Jesus, my suffering isn't even really suffering. I KNOW Jesus holds true to his promises. I KNOW that this is no surprise to Him -- he KNOWS the plans he has for me -- and they're for GOOD. I KNOW that this is just temporary, and that in this Jesus brings me delightful things. And I KNOW that Jesus' heart breaks for me. I KNOW he's going through all of this with me. Every emotion. Every pain. Every hope. Every let down. Every breath and every cough -- He is CHOOSING to feel it with me. Incredible. But what's more incredible is that I can know all of this, and still feel defeated. And that's how I was feeling. Just. So. Defeated. And then a song came on the radio.. I wasn't really paying attention to the music, but these words seemed to just be louder than the rest -- "Hold fast, help is on the way." And it was like Jesus saying to me -- Just wait a little longer, my warrior! You're so close to bringing me the glory I'm getting from this. You're not forgotten, and you're not alone. I am with you. I feel your heart breaking, but if you only knew what was to come of this, if you could only see my plans... --- Praise You Father! What an awesome awesome comforter and healer and lover we have in Jesus Christ! I'm tearing just typing this because He is SO GOOD! I don't even have words..
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
I CAN take heart because God is love.
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
I CAN take heart because God is love.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Loose, footloose.
It's been foreverrrrr since I've written on here, sorry. Basically in a nut shell, I am not feeling that great. My breathing is not really getting better, and I've been so tired that I just stay home all the time. This past week I have gone out a few times.. went to the mall to shop for a dress/accessories for a wedding -- it was hard. I was SO beat when we got home. But how nice is God? I'll tell you. Well, I can't really tell you just how nice He is because that's beyond words, and beyond what I even know or understand, but I'll tell you something nice He did. Saturday was Nisha and Matt's wedding (yaay!) and I love to dance at weddings and stuff, but this wedding was more important to dance at because Nisha and I have this inside joke of interpretive dance, and I love her and really wanted to be able to celebrate! However, with the breathing going as it is, I didn't really know if I'd be able to really dance. At the beginning of the reception, I was tired, and I didn't have the umph to get up and dance, but soon after... I did! I danced! A lot! I had to take breaks to catch my breath and things, but only short breaks, and it was really fun! Thank you God :] So the next day was Sunday and the pastor's wife at my dad's church says to him, "what was Emily doing last night at 7:30?" She told him that God put it upon her heart all of a sudden at 7:30 to pray for me, but she didn't know why. 7:30 was when the reception started. Bah! So cool. And God is just soo indescribable.
On another note, my doctor changed my treatment plan. I do my regular treatment, then wait a half hour, then do this second treatment which is kind of harsh. We've tried it three times in the past and I couldn't tolerate it, but this time it's not as bad! Thank Jesus! It is still really frustrating because it hurts my throat, and makes me cough a lot (which is good) but then my throat hurts from the coughing too. Last night it felt like I was coughing all night -- I was less than thrilled, and my chest started to hurt. But hopefully this time around the medicine will work, and it seems to be working better than the last times. Oh! I went back to school for the first time since Ohio yesterday, too! God blessed my class situation so much -- I emailed the class saying I was absent cause I had to have surgery, not just because I'm a slacker haha and could anyone fill me in on the work. Everyone was so nice when they emailed back, and it turns out I really didn't miss much at all. On top of that, I walk into class and my professor smiles and tells me she's so happy to have me back, to take it easy and not worry about anything, "everything will be ok" haha AND she prepared notes for me to study while I was gone. How sweet! The class is long, and the professor reads right from the book, so the class gets a little.. less than exciting lol but it's soo great to be able to go! After class I swung by Jesus Book to say hello to everyone and get some tracts. That was enough of a day for me. I got home and was beat. You know when you're so tired, you can't even sleep? And then you're in a terrible mood and everything seems like this huge deal when it's not? That's how it was last night, and then on top of the coughing... Oy! My poor mother still put up with me and watched some of a movie with me lol she's such a gift --- sometimes. hehe just kidding just kidding! My parents are seriously one of my biggest blessings. But anyway, today it was hard to wake up again.. it wasn't yesterday morning though. And at 12 my dad is coming home to take me to the doctors because the doc wants to talk to us about some test results. So.. we'll see what happens!
Oh! I almost forgot. Although my treatment plan is kind of annoying since it's longer.. I had been praying that I would spend more time with God. Like have that morning time with him and stuff, but I fall asleep in the mornings. But now, since I do a treatment, it kind of wakes me up, and then I have the time in between treatments to pray and stuff! I love how God REALLY DOES work everything together for good for those who love him and have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). And .. as much as I complain and hate it, the treatments are a gift from God. They help me, even if I don't enjoy doing them. I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything else if I didn't do them. I just had to add that in because I didn't want to not acknowledge such a blessing in my life, even if it doesn't seem like one at the time.
I danced because God is love.
On another note, my doctor changed my treatment plan. I do my regular treatment, then wait a half hour, then do this second treatment which is kind of harsh. We've tried it three times in the past and I couldn't tolerate it, but this time it's not as bad! Thank Jesus! It is still really frustrating because it hurts my throat, and makes me cough a lot (which is good) but then my throat hurts from the coughing too. Last night it felt like I was coughing all night -- I was less than thrilled, and my chest started to hurt. But hopefully this time around the medicine will work, and it seems to be working better than the last times. Oh! I went back to school for the first time since Ohio yesterday, too! God blessed my class situation so much -- I emailed the class saying I was absent cause I had to have surgery, not just because I'm a slacker haha and could anyone fill me in on the work. Everyone was so nice when they emailed back, and it turns out I really didn't miss much at all. On top of that, I walk into class and my professor smiles and tells me she's so happy to have me back, to take it easy and not worry about anything, "everything will be ok" haha AND she prepared notes for me to study while I was gone. How sweet! The class is long, and the professor reads right from the book, so the class gets a little.. less than exciting lol but it's soo great to be able to go! After class I swung by Jesus Book to say hello to everyone and get some tracts. That was enough of a day for me. I got home and was beat. You know when you're so tired, you can't even sleep? And then you're in a terrible mood and everything seems like this huge deal when it's not? That's how it was last night, and then on top of the coughing... Oy! My poor mother still put up with me and watched some of a movie with me lol she's such a gift --- sometimes. hehe just kidding just kidding! My parents are seriously one of my biggest blessings. But anyway, today it was hard to wake up again.. it wasn't yesterday morning though. And at 12 my dad is coming home to take me to the doctors because the doc wants to talk to us about some test results. So.. we'll see what happens!
Oh! I almost forgot. Although my treatment plan is kind of annoying since it's longer.. I had been praying that I would spend more time with God. Like have that morning time with him and stuff, but I fall asleep in the mornings. But now, since I do a treatment, it kind of wakes me up, and then I have the time in between treatments to pray and stuff! I love how God REALLY DOES work everything together for good for those who love him and have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). And .. as much as I complain and hate it, the treatments are a gift from God. They help me, even if I don't enjoy doing them. I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything else if I didn't do them. I just had to add that in because I didn't want to not acknowledge such a blessing in my life, even if it doesn't seem like one at the time.
I danced because God is love.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Long time no talk
I haven't been on here in what feels like forever! Sorry! Well, we are HOME!! YAY!! It was sooo nice to come home, and have the puppies be all happy we were home, and Nicole was at our house to greet us still, and Dani and Leslie decorated my car and front door! What a nice surprise! Also, I spoke with my manager and she is so willing to work with me, it's so great. God has just so blessed me. Now that we're home, I'm trying to do four therapies a day. It doesn't always work out, but I'm getting at least three in, which is good. Jesus won us a mighty victory through this journey, but in my selfishness, it's kind of disappointing that He's not done yet. Let me better explain. God promises us that our suffering will not last a moment longer than what is needed to fulfill His glory. The victory He gave us with the fungus ball, the recovery, the flu, everything, was incredible.. IS incredible. However, I still have CF. So, I guess I kind of built up in my mind that I'd be breathing great after this procedure, but I'm not. I'm actually breathing pretty hard, coughing a lot, and really tired. It's hard to balance because I guess it was a little unrealistic to expect to bounce back up when we got home, however, nothing is impossible with God (CLEARLY!). But alas, God has more glory to get! And don't get me wrong, I want to bring it to him! I was just kind of hoping to do that while breathing nicely hehe. Even when things are hard to balance though, the Word of the Lord stands forever. That does not shake! Thank Jesus! And He reminds me..
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 .
Praise God! It amazes me how uninterested I can be in reading the Word, but when I finally make myself read it, I don't want to stop. Anyway, I went for a walk yesterday. Celeste came over and motivated me to go haha otherwise I really wouldn't have. It took a lot out of me and I had to do a treatment as soon as I got home because it was pretty hard to breathe. I went on a walk again today with Pip! I'm trying to train him to walk nicely on a leash, but so far it isn't exactly working out. The poor thing was so scared to be on a walk without Sprocket, I had to carry him a few houses back. I breathed all right, much better than yesterday! I still had to do a treatment when I got home though. I think it's so awesome the science and everything that God has given us. I can't breathe -- I do a treatment. How did someone figure out the right medicines and everything? Sorry my thoughts are kind of scattered today. But the main thing is God is soooo nice! He knows every little piece of our body, every hair on our head, our names. He isn't a God that generalizes, but he knows each and everyone of us so personally. And he planned our days before one came to pass. He knew I would need treatments, and I'm living in a time when I can get them. They're invented, they're available. He made our bodies, he provides our every need. It's too much to even comprehend. But anyway, I have to keep exercising and stuff to try and improve my lungs and muscles, so feel free to pray about that! Also, that I grow closer to God and truly live for him and not myself, and be able to discern the difference haha. Thanks!
I am home because God is love!
P.S. I don't know why but today I was thinking how God is like that carpet cleaning place -- I wanna say stanley steamers? They're motto is "Tough on dirt, gentle on carpets." And I was thinking that's how God is. He takes away our stains, but He's kind and gentle to us. haha I don't know but I just wanted to share that.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 .
Praise God! It amazes me how uninterested I can be in reading the Word, but when I finally make myself read it, I don't want to stop. Anyway, I went for a walk yesterday. Celeste came over and motivated me to go haha otherwise I really wouldn't have. It took a lot out of me and I had to do a treatment as soon as I got home because it was pretty hard to breathe. I went on a walk again today with Pip! I'm trying to train him to walk nicely on a leash, but so far it isn't exactly working out. The poor thing was so scared to be on a walk without Sprocket, I had to carry him a few houses back. I breathed all right, much better than yesterday! I still had to do a treatment when I got home though. I think it's so awesome the science and everything that God has given us. I can't breathe -- I do a treatment. How did someone figure out the right medicines and everything? Sorry my thoughts are kind of scattered today. But the main thing is God is soooo nice! He knows every little piece of our body, every hair on our head, our names. He isn't a God that generalizes, but he knows each and everyone of us so personally. And he planned our days before one came to pass. He knew I would need treatments, and I'm living in a time when I can get them. They're invented, they're available. He made our bodies, he provides our every need. It's too much to even comprehend. But anyway, I have to keep exercising and stuff to try and improve my lungs and muscles, so feel free to pray about that! Also, that I grow closer to God and truly live for him and not myself, and be able to discern the difference haha. Thanks!
I am home because God is love!
P.S. I don't know why but today I was thinking how God is like that carpet cleaning place -- I wanna say stanley steamers? They're motto is "Tough on dirt, gentle on carpets." And I was thinking that's how God is. He takes away our stains, but He's kind and gentle to us. haha I don't know but I just wanted to share that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)