Bahhh.. soooo much to write so I was going to say I'll try to consolidate, but everyone knows it's going to turn out hardcore long anyway, so brace yourselves.
So anyway. Halloweekend -- Friday night my friends Celeste and DJ (her boyfriend) and I went to this place called Gabriele's because they were having a halloween party/costume contest. So I wanna say this idea was from God -- but I don't want to accidentally dishonor him or something cause it's a crazy idea -- but I dressed up as "Baby Gaga" hahah. It was fun to legit dress up again! ANDDD I won second place in the costume contest! --- a kindle!!! and gift certificate to eat at Gab's. ANDDDD had a super fun time with the pirate couple, who by the way looked SO good!
Saturday I didn't do much, and then Sunday I went to Six Flags fright fest with my friends Johnny and June. It was interesting because my parents bought me a 2012 season pass for my birthday, so I had to wait on this really long line to get my pass, but the J's had day tickets, so we decided that they'd go on a ride, and I'd get my pass and we'd meet after that. It worked out well because their line was actually longer than mine! So I got to stay on schedule with my eating, and be all responsible and what not haha. Anyway, after that we went on the fright walk -- and put our "game faces" on, as Johnny calls it -- so that we don't get scared of the people popping out at us hahaha. We went on Nitro (my favorite ride!) and Batman! It was SUPER cold hahah we were all freezing, and decided to leave a little earlier than we originally planned -- which was perfect timing because I was worn out at that point.
On Monday, ACTUAL Halloween -- I went over to my sister's house and saw the cutest little bumble bee ever, aka my niece Julianna. SO STINKIN CUTE!! And she LOVED trick or treating! On my way there, on the parkway or watev, my other sister and I met hahah she was driving almost right behind me and we kept passing each other on the way haha I love having sisters! Anyway, so we went walking ... a lot of walking .. with Juj to trick or treat, and then went back to the house and hung out for a little and played. <<--- that's bolded on purpose.
God is SO NICE! I can't get over it. I want to be able to babysit my niece without anyone worrying that I'll have a coughing fit, or be incapable of being 100% on for Juj. I want to be able to playyy with her without coughing or fatiguing after 2.5 seconds. And God let me. I WALKED A LOT for me, and wasn't choking. I wasn't out of energy. I even threw her up in the air!! That wouldn't have even crossed my mind before. But I could and did do it! And we played! I am so thankful for that it's ridiculous. The blessings that God gives me through that little girl are insane and too many to count. I keep going back to how happy I am that she doesnt have CF -- not only because obviously I wouldn't want her to have it lol but because then we wouldn't be able to know each other, we couldnt hang out or play. God eliminated every hindrance and block just for our play time last Monday. Thank you, Jesus! ANDDD on top of that, I got to go to fright fest (after attempting to probably almost every weekend of October), and although I tired kinda quickly, it was the perfect timing to tire, and just bahhhh. Andddd I won the costume contest which is exciting! I'm enjoying the books I'm reading on my kindle, and really feel that they're helping me refocus because I wasn't prioritizing God enough these past weeks, and I'm still not and won't until I'm completely undistracted and blinded by His Glorious Self in heaven, but I'm still happy he's helping me grow more now. Bahhhh and I LOVEEEE when God just romances you. I know that feelings can be deceiving, but God gave us feelings as well, and I reallyyyy enjoy when I just feel wooed by Jesus, and that's totally my feeling today.
Today I woke up, and wasn't sucking the oxygen out of the room every breath. Usually when I wake up, it's such work to breathe, that I need to do my treatment first thing. I can't walk downstairs to get my nebulizers even, I have to have them in my room from the night before, or have someone go get them. Today I felt like I could walk around the block before doing my treatment! I felt tight, like I needed it, but not like I was unable to breathe without it! All I kept thinking was how cool that was -- air was going in without me trying that hard. Praise You, God!
I don't know why, but later on in the night, I started to feel not that great, and coughed a lot more than I have been during my therapy, and even just resting. But still that coughing is nothing compared to the coughing a few weeks ago.
My doctors don't read this, but I still want to give a shout out to Dr. Emily DiMango, Victoria Robinson and the whole team at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital... God is using you to help me!! And I am SO thankful for these breaths, but even more so for the memories that I get to make because I can breathe better. Thank you guys!!! Bahhh <3
I honestly just feel like crying lol this makes me think that maybe God's plan has more for me than I thought.. maybe I'll get even better from here. I know I pray for that, but it's kind of like unexpectant, which we are supposed to pray WITH expectancy. But I just feel like -- Ok, I'll pray for that, but even if it doesn't happen, I'll still follow, You, Lord. --- But then when it does happen... I'm so taken -- which I should be because God is SO good, but I need to have more faith that He does say yes. I can't imagine how Shadrach, Mishek and Abednego felt saying that God would save them from a burning hot furnace, but even if he didn't they still were loyal to only God. THAT is FAR more miraculous than what I pray for, and God DID IT! I wonder -- were they really expecting him to save them, or did they feel like I do -- kinda expecting God to say no and then being totally swept off their feet when he said yes? Bahh I'd say that I'll ask them in heaven, but I think being able to hug and look into the eyes of the King of Kings, I won't really care about how they felt hahah
Anyway, God is just so nice :] And to think.. I'm not even close to grasping His full niceness.. this is just a taste. crazy.
I had playtime because God is love.
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